i've skipped dinner again. din mean to. but just no appetite. so i've not eaten for today.
just now went to play golf with minhui and iL during their golf lesson. actually was sleeping this afternoon. was feeling lazy and bored and didnt really want to get my butt out of the house. but like so long nv see iL le, a week+ bah ( not too long too lar), den since wake up le, dun want to go back to sleep also lor. and i just want to get out of the house. dun want to coop myself at home. so i helped my mother ( she havent return home) to vacuum the floor and bring in the clothes tat is out in the sun, and bathe already to go out.
meet minhui at cck at 4.30+pm. actually her class started at 4 one. but she missed the bus, so waited for me to take cab there. and so, as we waited for cab, she told me about chuan ting. she and ernest feel that chuanting didnt really have a goal for her to work towards to. and thus she feeling quite lost. and therefore she set her target to poly so tat she wun need to study so hard and get stressed up in jc. we feel tat her mentality is wrong. and we wanted to help her. so in conclusion, we decided to talk to her first and tell sok gek about this, so tat she can do something to help her sister.
listening to energy's yan lei de wei dao now. didnt know why im crying too. *confused*
*be strong - sniff*
talking about golf, find tat darius is quite a nice guy. *wanted to put a smiley face, but dun have the mood to do so, so sorry* he resembles a little of johnson. den went to the playroom for children de. after tat stayed there talked alot alot. but mostly about golf. iL is forced to take picture and play tic-tac-toe with me. den we took the bus which is 8.35pm from warren back to lot 1.
the others, i mean darius, terence and iL went back home, so left me and mh only.
den went to the basement 1 of photo shop to print minhui's photo. den while i buy the *shi ling's* chicken chop, minhui went to help me buy bubble tea. as usual, i drank the *zhen zhu nai cha*
wait. i go bath first. now is 11.40pm. be back soon to continue this entry. >.<
okay. it's 11.53pm. and i spent 13 mins in the bathing room showering. i didnt wash my hair since i did it this afternoon, tats why im some sort of fast tonight.
okay. enough of analysing my bathing time. continuing from where i've stopped, this is going to b a long blog.
anyway, me and mh went to the pillar of mrt station to sit and eat our *ji pa*. we den went to the stairs near the starbuck or coffee bean *watever*, cuz got chased by the cleaner uncle as we should not be eating there. we talked alot. really alot. we talked like an hour plus bah.
we talked about TAS. mh is real pissed off with her. not going to waste my time blogging about tat idiot, im sorry tat i actually called tat idiot a idiot. i wanted to say something tat is not very nice, but forget it. i dun want ppl to call me tat too correct? anyway, if you want to know more, can go mh's blog and see wat tat idiot did. just felt very bad tat i told mh if SHE really ever step on my tail, im going to shoot her like i never did tat before. not going to going into details, cuz obviously it's not very nice to do so. dun wanna *bitch* ppl in my blog like other ppl do. if ppl does it, i dun have to do it. cuz im civilised. cuz i have a choice, to do or not to do. and i choose not to. i mean if you r frustrating your irritation, tats okay lar, just dun badmouth about other ppl about things they didnt do. you'r not going to like it when other ppl do tat to you, right? so dun do it.
anyway, was talking about me and mh eating and chit-chatting. we dreamt about the houses, as if friends living side by side, and our houses is like connected by a door where we can go into each other houses freely. so is 2 flats joining one another lar. so cool. it's wat i always dreamt of. didnt know she felt the same thing too. ^.^ *great minds think alike, thus we are great ppl. haaa.. bullshitting. dun mind me.* okay. anyway, den she say she'll put up a sign if she is bringing her boyfriend back, so tat we wun disturb when she and her boyfriend is *yi wei-ing* >.< the sign will say:" boyfriend at home. dating in progress. will update you later. no peeking tom peishi."
den we like talked alot. den went to toilet. continue our talk. i was telling her about my mother. i didnt know how to put it. it's the first time i really face this topic. i guess i was avoiding and avoiding times and times again. but i guess no one knows it but me bah. hmmm.. my mother is not like other ppl's mum. as in, wat she do is different from other ppl's. she dun call me when im late home, for e.g 10+ or 11+pm. she wouldnt expect me to call back home from camp. she wouldnt care about my school unless i tell her wat happened, and she'll just say dun take it to heart can le. she wouldnt care about my prom night's dress and imagine i had to shop with mh's family rather than my own's. she wouldnt come down to buy clothes with me like other gurls' mum do, e.g mh's and iL's during their prom night dress. she wouldnt stay up with me during my exams days, but i understand fully tat she's working, and need more sleep. i cant possibly force her about this. she wouldnt go out and eat with me alone like other mums' do. she wouldnt care if i go shopping or even go out with her anot. she dunno my friends' names. she dunno who's my best friends. she wouldnt where im unless i tell her. she wouldnt get bothered if i go out almost everyday anot.
i dunno if this is her way to show tat she gives me freedom or doting on me anot. but mayb it's not wat i want. im not trying to say my mother is not good. in fact, she is good. i still love her for being my mother. but mayb we didnt have the soul-to-soul communication like other mother and daughter has. im confusing myself already. okay. it's just tat in some way, she's still a good mother, but in another way, it's not wat i want. whenever i heard other gurls around me saying they are going out with my mother, i'll just keep quiet. cuz i dun go out with my mother. if i want to buy something, she'll just give me the money to buy. well, it's not wat i want. i want to show her wat i want to buy, not after i buy already den i show her. haiz~ i guess im like too demanding on my mother already.
still havent finish my cs assignment's script. and last time i counted with nancy, there's like still got 5 more assignment yet to be done and due. after like almost 3 months to 17 years did i really study. and i mean really tat kind of working hard, doing homework, finishing assignments. i guess this is going to be hard, but i will still persevere and not give up. poor me. it's like primary i din even study, and when i was having my PSLE, i just went home to sleep after every paper. and i did not bad. and i din really study for O level and i managed to get into ech. but i tink i cant slack anymore. i dun want my life to like waste away and regret like i did now, not to study hard in kranji, knowing i will definitely do better than now. i believe tat i have the brain, just tat im lazy. my piano teacher, my 2 previous tution teachers, and my kranji teachers told me this too. i learn fast and well, but im lazy. esp mr siah and my piano teacher. =X
finally ending my blog le.
jia you.
-pEiShi-
