This is what I want to say to Loon. I came across the blog URL that he put on his msn personal message. I don't want to talk about what happened but I must say, I feel for him.
Somehow, after reading the blog, Sze Wen came into my mind. I have been getting flashbacks quite a bit tonight. And in one way or another, Sze Wen and that girl have something in similar but not totally though. One survived while the other one didn't. And another big difference between the girl in the blog and Szewen is the intention of mishap.
It still traumatized me that Szewen decided to take her own life during our secondary school days. She used to be such cheerful and outgoing young pretty lady which I very much like to talk to or even play around with. Sad enough, it wasn't until a few days before we started to talk to each other and joke around when her suicide news overwhelmed all of us in school. I can remember almost clearly how we used to talk along the corridor and smile at each other. And it wasn't until secondary 3 that I decided that I like this girl and she could even be one of my special friends. Just imagine how shaken I was when I heard the news from the others about her a few days later. Who would have imagine that to happen when everyone thought that she must be the last person to take her own life. I guess no one knows that I have such past with her too.
Like what I have said, in these two situations, the intentions are different. And the girl who is mentioned in the blog has no thinking of ending her life and gladly, she survived, thank God. I hope God had been as kind to Szewen as he did to everyone else. Maybe he feels that it is better to keep her by his side. Even though I am not a Christian, but I know that God wants everyone good, isn't it?
Alright, I must admit I cried terribly in the bathroom just now. How would it be if things hasn't gone this way? What would have been different? Could we have done something to stop this from happening? Have we been friends that are approachable and nice enough to do our best for our friends? I hope I have been that way. I sincerely hope so. But sadly, sometimes what's lost is gone forever. If the connection is lost, it will too, be gone forever.
原谅我
终于疲倦了 我起身关上了灯
才发现窗外 午夜变成了清晨
你的风铃还挂着 何时长满了灰尘
就像我的手机 一声都不吭
被睡眠遗忘 房子看来更黯然
慢步到厨房 隔夜咖啡很冰凉
还有一小时时光 决定走到你家楼下
多渴望你这时能回到我的身旁
Oh baby 请原谅我 一切都是我的错
都是我不够成熟 是我执着是我软弱
Oh baby 请你回头 请听我说天长地久
能不能再一次握紧你的手 一切从头来过
你还记得吗 那些回忆片段
两人的脸庞 阳光下笑得自然
世界因你而变暖 没有你而得空旷
多渴望你这时能回到我的身旁
Oh baby 请原谅我 一切都是我的错
都是我不够成熟 是我执着是我软弱
Oh baby 请你回头 请听我说天长地久
能不能再一次握紧你的手 一切从头来过
知道你很难过 我的心在颤抖
我一砖一瓦 为你亲手 打造幸福轮廓
Oh baby 请原谅我 一切都是我的错
都是我不够成熟 是我执着是我软弱
Oh baby 请你回头 请听我说天长地久
能不能再一次握紧你的手 一切从头来过
